Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
