windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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