I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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