Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
