OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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