Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
