I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
how does that bad decision feel?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
