Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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