i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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