I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
