i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
