I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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