i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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