they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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