THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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