she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
