States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
