Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
