Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
