so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
