It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
