Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
