Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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