Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
