I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
