just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize