but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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