Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize