Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
