I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
