you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
