You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
