What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
