Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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