ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
