my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
