my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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