I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My feet surprised me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize