yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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