This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
