I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
