A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
