So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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