That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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