she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
