as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
