fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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