You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize