Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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