3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
