you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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