WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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