I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
