If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
