so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
