Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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