Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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