ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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