life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
