u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These tits shall not be calmed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
God, I missed his penis.
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