Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
