i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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