but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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