I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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