She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
