How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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