Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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