Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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