just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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