direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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