Sry I called you an 8
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
