..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
