dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who died my cat blue again?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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