Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's shark week go big or go home
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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