New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
