The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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