She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
