i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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